Talking to ourselves



I think I’m jinxed. Lately when I mention something in my blog, ABRACADABRA! It comes to pass. The Universe crosses its cosmic arms, leans against a metaphysical wall, and says, “Heh. So what are going to do now, genius?”

A few weeks ago, I wrote about my study trip to Canada, and the importance of investing in ourselves. Then I wrote about trust, and how to nurture it in business. Here is what happened: I received an urgent email telling me that the training was cancelled for at least 12 months. Then one of my clients asked me for something that I felt was A Bad Idea.

Mindset, schmindset: when these two things happened, there was no philisophising or reframing going on. My reaction was purely emotional and drove me to the cookie jar with concern, disappointment, and worry, and may have lasted longer than you’d think, except I don’t really believe in jinxes. Here is what I do believe:

That the quality of our lives depends on the quality of our communications.

Most often, this involves the communication we have with ourselves.

Canada got cancelled and in one fell swoop I had several thousand dollars back in my pocket and two weeks to do as I pleased. I could have booked myself a flight to Fiji for two weeks of horizontality, but what would that have communicated to me about investing in myself?

And my client. A person whose judgement, savvy and ability have built a multi-million dollar business, and here I was about to tell them that their judgement in this case hadn’t been that great. Much easier to do the job, take the money, and run. What would that have communicated to me about trustworthiness?

So yes: I reinvested both the time and money in myself. And I approached my client and told them what I thought. They were a little taken aback, and I didn’t hear from them for a while. When I did, it was with a better job for me.

Communicating wonderful words to the world and getting people to listen is easy. It might be more challenging to speak those words to ourselves on a consistent basis, but when we do, people do much more than listen: they follow.


  1. What a wonderfully insightful blog, Violeta.

    So true that the message we communicate to ourselves is the one that determines who we really are and who we then become surrounded by.

    As author and motivational speaker Robin Sharma says: “Speak your truth, even when your voice shakes.” and magical things will ALWAYS happen. With no rhyme or reason, they just do…

    Thank you

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